Blowing over.

clock-angry-symbolism

For some reason, I got a bit violent today: I tried to “poison” my dog, I was slightly flipping dishes everywhere (as though breaking each and every one of them), my speech was turning too vile and raucous. All I’d see would piss me off, and I desired to thrash things. Then suddenly, I began to cry as I remembered those memories of what happened to me in times past. For some reason, reminiscences flow in every now and then; eventually, a certain pang that somehow deigned not dissipate.

I never realised that a volcano was erupting once more, a lava of consternation seeping from my heart’s inner ventricles. For heaven’s sake… I am trying very hard to stay sane but why? This then, a proof of my mind’s insatiable dogma of dissent from level-headedness, that people denigrate me or despise what I do. Am I that worthless?

Now I don’t know if my dog would fall ill of the cockroach spray I aimed at his hind legs and tail. Of course, I regret how much of a vicious tyrant I could be at times. Mea culpa.

Mea maxima culpa.

Project MHP.

I purchased the “mentalhealthphilippines.com” domain way back October last year but until now, I haven’t been able to make up my mind concerning the site. Initially, I just set up a “Coming Soon” splash page to cover most of the time that I am supposed to be working on site, along with a close friend of mine as collaborator. Actually, my friend (who also is bipolar) and myself resolved to set up such a website with the goal of imparting unto others—especially Filipinos—some things regarding mental health in the context of a common Filipino mindset. But how? Shall we initiate it as an online repository of articles? A web forum? A contributor’s hub? Online counseling ¬†network? We just could not figure it out.

So the project was stalled.

However, I began thinking of “reviving” the idea of inaugurating the site once more since I have been sort of pissed off at some correspondences I’ve been receiving regarding mental health idiosyncracies in this country where I live in. Of course, I just could not stand the degrading impressions–if not reputation–imputed upon those with mental disorders, that these people should merely be treated as though without any further chances for self-fulfilment. Oh cruel world, and we might truly deem it as such; and if that would be the case, then hell shall be surely be correlative to life.

Yes, we might outrightly declare without compunction that discrimination against those with mental illness should stop. Indeed, we all dream of a better society, wherein haughtiness as concerning one’s position or condition may nevermore be ontologically symmetrical to personal security. Possible in some ways although the roads leading to such shall be labyrinthine. Quite, and thus deserves conviction and unsurpassed mettle.

Anyway, I just hope I could sit down peacefully in front of the PC and tweak away MHP’s databases. Oh, another one of those tasks that keep my brain at work. Oh well.

Exclamation Point.

The point is, there is a bit of a fine print.

Then I exclaim it as such, declare it, define it, blurt it out.

Exclamation points:–they broaden the spectrum of words and phrases, consuming a mortal unto a state of restlessness, but leads them unto self-recognition. There is a certain fire in random soliloquys and immeasurable charm in spontaneous statements, even if the mind’s thoughts are scarce and whenever thoughts might not gush forth from consciousness.

Let there be particular explanations. Exclamations. Unbridled expressions that freak out, antagonise, rebel, demand.

{These, merely are what I could think about. Words escape me again, that it takes me a minute to figure out vocabulary.}

Web Presence.

website

For days have I been mulling over registering “meintheexosphere” as a dot com domain. The only hindrance–if I should say so–is that I have been paying for two more domains and I would not want to let those go. So, all in all, I shell out an equivalent of $18 for those two domains and the webspace; if I order another one, then it would amount to about $27.

…Anyway, wherever the wind takes me. meintheexosphere has grown that much close to my heart.

~~~

BTW, I still find the new WordPress dashboard interface a bit queer and dainty. Somehow, my hands get all clammy just by looking at the font overhauls.